friday the 13th night blues

I had a sudden attack of grumpiness et crabbiness hours ago. It’s funny but I guess I kind of copy each tantrum of my nursery kids back in Bangkok., like Rj’s No No or Mawin and Jamie’s getting their way all the time and the likes.

Late this afternoon, I got prepped up to watch a variety show that will showcase different dances and events of the past decades. My cousin was one of the performers but because my sister won’t come with me, I was stuck at home feeling down and low in spirits. She said we only have one umbrella and if we will be in it together we might end up getting colds. She hasn’t been feeling well so she thought it would be best to stay at home and rest.

Well, I can’t take a No especially if I am dead set to go but I also don’t want to go all by myself. So, I threw tantrums as a way of expressing my anger and frustrations towards my sister. She thought I went ballistic and was way too immature to handle such situation and said point blank that I was acting like a 3 or 5 year kid (or much worse than that-prolly a lunatic) and that nobody will take me seriously if I continue being childish.

For a while, I calmed down after throwing some of the pillows and stuff and suddenly realized that my immaturity and childishness got the better of me. Sometimes, I hate myself for being that. It’s eating me alive.  I reckon I have to take Anger Management 101 although I know that deep down in my heart I can be calm, cool and collected but there are just few instances that I can’t control my self.

While doing some grocery with Ma and Pa, I ended up in a sour mood when Papa exercised his frugality to its maximum level. Meaning, I have to get only the basic commodities and that this pack is a duplication of this pack and that it has to go back to the shelf where it belongs. Hahaha!

But after some one on one reflection of all my alter egos, I came to realize that I am plainly immature and that I have to change it.

I am sorry… il be good next time.

I am just having one of those Friday the 13th night blues... :(

25 random things :)

maki join na rin sa bandwagon. so here goes! 25 random things about me!


1.I am the youngest among the brood of four. My sibs’ names are James Mark, James Paul and Jessel Honey Lyn –which makes me wonder why my name starts with letter “I”.

2.I like to believe that I am my Papa’s fave child. Peace bros and sis! ;)

3.I am a voracious reader and was a member of the Bookworm club in grade school.
Books are my de-stressor when I am stressed out- books perk up my mood.

4.I love to write but am plainly bad in grammar and sometimes I can’t let my tenses agree! Boohoo! But that doesn’t stop me from writing journals and blogs.

5.I always crave for Italian and Mexican food—(pizza, parmesan cheese, pasta, quesadilla)Thai food is my least fave but I can’t resist the taste of Mu krup and Pa Thai so after my work back in Bangkok I gorged on those kinds of dishes.

6.I was once assigned as a sport’s writer in the Schools Press Conference and was so attracted to a fellow sports writer. (ayayay!)

7.I am a starving human specie and I thirst for knowledge and new discoveries in life.

8.I want to be uprooted in this wide universe because it’s fast becoming boring. Haha! Can I be an alien?

9.I so so love to eat deep fried pork and chicken.

10.My sister and I used to have pen friends way back in grade school from Australia when there was this West Kids friendship club or something like that.

11.I love the rainy days and the happy ways I feel inside!

12.I embrace so much of nature and everything in luscious green.

13.But my favorite color is red

14.I have few selected friends whom I considered as my life lines.

15.I am a certified dog lover.

16.me likey Audrey Hepburn and how I wish I have the same pretty, sophisticated face like hers

17.I love old movies and classic songs.

18.I am young at heart. I love being with kids—that is prolly why I am a pre-school teacher.

19I eat chips only with Sangkap Pinoy stamp and Cheese Curls is my all time favorite. I love seeweed chips, too!

20.I love blogs and any journal related chuvaness in the cyber world but I still have my old trusty journals/diaries inside my closet.

21.I love moments of silence.

22. I want to bake cookies and the likes but I am no use when it comes to that.

23.I prefer to stay at home than to go out into late night soirées.

24.I love being loved.

25.I treasure my family.

ma fin :)

happy birthday, my dear ma fin! :) Thank you for filling my love cup up to the brim. i love you very much mama! :)

:)

I kind of promised myself never to write anything mushy but I guess it’s prolly due to the fact that Valentine’s Day is just a sniff away so I decided to write something about it. But no, this is not all about the plight of the hopeless unrealistic romances of all time but this is a post by a not-so-young-woman anymore (that’s yours truly) whom I reckon is feeling exultantly proud, contented and joyful from cutting clean in the so-called throes of unrequited love.

Just this morning, I pulled my mad jet black hair in a loose bun and caught my reflection in my parent’s full length mirror. I thought I looked like 16 going on 17. Oh well, not bad for an ancient 24- year-old turning 25 few months from now.

In my few moments of silence, I traced back the events that unfold from my very own eyes three years ago when I chose to love another human being forever.

Yes, I make choices in life that I am not really proud of but that year of 2005, I learned the hard way about love and commitment. And now, I can truly say that the lessons I learned hardest were the lessons that I learned best.

Anyway, when my life catapulted into a vast swirling of emptiness, I did the whole incognito a bit and feigned an excuse just to zap back my life and heart that was shard into pieces in just a jiffy.

But I guess I had a special knack for getting myself back into track. However, it did not happen overnight; it took two years, to say the least to heal whatever there is to heal. Right now, the pain still lingers but it’s alright. It is a good sign that validates my being human - (vulnerable to the emotional roller coaster ride of mixed feelings and emotions)

None the less, I learned something than just having to mend a broken heart. I came to understand the meaning of unconditional love. (ayayay!) I’ve read somewhere that love is a state of being in which you care for someone else more than you do about yourself. When some else’s happiness defines your own.

Yes, my heart was broken and thus made me miserable, but it was and still is a happy misery. 

And of course, the greatest love of all is from my family. I was up to the zenith point of loneliness, but my family didn’t desert me. My sister went all her way to perk up my mood by willingly helping me cry until we ended the night laughing into our heart’s content. My Mama filled my love cup up to the brim and Papa always gave me all those tight, meaningful bear hugs. ( A father’s love is rare; it must be cherished) and of course my two crazy brothers made sure in knocking my twisted head once in awhile and they also made silly and funny comments out of the situation to ease whatever stress I had before.

What I am trying to say is that when some tragic fate in life happens, (be it failing an exam, breaking one’s heart or letting go’s among others) there’s still this special kind of unit called family that will always makes a difference. Tragic fate and all the negative forces in life will make a family bond into a tighter nucleus, making it firm and solid.

I like it sometimes when the electricity suddenly shut off and everything is dark and scary because it is the the time when each member of my family will call to each other for light and guidance in the dark pathways. I like it when we come together in the living room with just a lighted candle and just simply talk about the days of our lives.

So, I thank my family for the gift of unconditional love. It was through good and bad times that I finally learn to live. The scope of my vision broadened beyond loving a person. I began to see myself as more than that. :)

For this coming day of hearts and cupids alike, I dedicate all my love to my family who nourishes and cares without interfering, gives without demanding, loves and forgives without hesitating.

And of course to the man I decided to love forever some three years ago, I wish him and his new found love a happy hearts day. :)

Happy Hearts day!


Besos y abrazos everyone,
Ivy :)

There are many thousands of women to love in the world but it only takes a man to love one woman in a thousand ways... :)

I just finished reading Aaron Spelling’s autobiography and boy was I impressed with his accomplishments in life. He was this poor little kid from Dallas, Texas who ventured out in Hollywood with $200(his parents life savings) in his pocket and has made way to become one of the Hollywood’s wealthiest television producer in his time. For once, I wish I can work really,really, really hard to fulfill my dreams. For now, I just have to keep on swimming! ;)

Some of Spelling’s notable television series are as follows;

Zane Grey
Burke’s Law
The Mod Squad
Starsky and Hutch
S.W.A.T.
Family
Charlie’s Angels (with Farrah Fawcett, Kate Jackson and Jacklyn Smith as Charlie’s Angels)
The Love Boat
Fantasy Island
Vegas
Hart to Hart
Beverly Hills
Melrose Place

There was one instance wherein Fred Pierce (New-York-based ABC President) had some story problems when Spelling made the pilot of Charlie’s Angels and didn’t sell. Peirce said he thought the girls were marvelous but it doesn’t make sense to have the girls working for a guy over the telephone. He questioned on how the girls will know what to do and where do these girls come from etc etc.

So Spelling did his best to talk them out of the situation.

“Fred, you haven’t seen the main title yet. It says, “Once upon a time there were three young ladies who graduated from the police academy and were given outstanding jobs. One is a traffic cop helping kids across the street. One is a girl typing in the office, and one is a meter maid. I took them all the way from that. Now, they work for me. My name is Charlie.”


And that made the trick. Spelling made that up on the spot! Fred was all excited and said, “Oh, they went to a police academy? Great. Let’s go.”

Clever! :)

And how could I forget Beverly Hills and Melrose Place? I know I was way too young that time but I do remember bits and spots of it. Oh my Marcia Cross (from Desperate Housewives) and Kristin Davis (from Sex and the City) were actually two of the casts in Melrose Place and Tori Spelling was also in the set of Beverly Hills. I just found out when I read Spelling’s Prime Time Life autobiography. Whoa!

Prayer :)

The Difference

I got up early one morning
and rushed right into the day;
I had so much to accomplish
that I didn't have time to pray.

Problems just tumbled about me,
and heavier came each task.
"Why doesn't God help me? " I wondered.
He answered "You didn't ask."

I wanted to see joy and beauty,
but the day toiled on, gray and bleak,
I wondered why God didn't show me.
He said, " But you didn't seek."

I tried to come into God's presence;
I used all the keys at the lock.
God gently and lovingly chided,
"My child, you didn't knock."

I woke up early this morning,
and paused before entering the day;
I had so much to accomplish
that I had to take time to pray.