I kind of promised myself never to write anything mushy but I guess it’s prolly due to the fact that Valentine’s Day is just a sniff away so I decided to write something about it. But no, this is not all about the plight of the hopeless unrealistic romances of all time but this is a post by a not-so-young-woman anymore (that’s yours truly) whom I reckon is feeling exultantly proud, contented and joyful from cutting clean in the so-called throes of unrequited love.
Just this morning, I pulled my mad jet black hair in a loose bun and caught my reflection in my parent’s full length mirror. I thought I looked like 16 going on 17. Oh well, not bad for an ancient 24- year-old turning 25 few months from now.
In my few moments of silence, I traced back the events that unfold from my very own eyes three years ago when I chose to love another human being forever.
Yes, I make choices in life that I am not really proud of but that year of 2005, I learned the hard way about love and commitment. And now, I can truly say that the lessons I learned hardest were the lessons that I learned best.
Anyway, when my life catapulted into a vast swirling of emptiness, I did the whole incognito a bit and feigned an excuse just to zap back my life and heart that was shard into pieces in just a jiffy.
But I guess I had a special knack for getting myself back into track. However, it did not happen overnight; it took two years, to say the least to heal whatever there is to heal. Right now, the pain still lingers but it’s alright. It is a good sign that validates my being human - (vulnerable to the emotional roller coaster ride of mixed feelings and emotions)
None the less, I learned something than just having to mend a broken heart. I came to understand the meaning of unconditional love. (ayayay!) I’ve read somewhere that love is a state of being in which you care for someone else more than you do about yourself. When some else’s happiness defines your own.
Yes, my heart was broken and thus made me miserable, but it was and still is a happy misery.
And of course, the greatest love of all is from my family. I was up to the zenith point of loneliness, but my family didn’t desert me. My sister went all her way to perk up my mood by willingly helping me cry until we ended the night laughing into our heart’s content. My Mama filled my love cup up to the brim and Papa always gave me all those tight, meaningful bear hugs. ( A father’s love is rare; it must be cherished) and of course my two crazy brothers made sure in knocking my twisted head once in awhile and they also made silly and funny comments out of the situation to ease whatever stress I had before.
What I am trying to say is that when some tragic fate in life happens, (be it failing an exam, breaking one’s heart or letting go’s among others) there’s still this special kind of unit called family that will always makes a difference. Tragic fate and all the negative forces in life will make a family bond into a tighter nucleus, making it firm and solid.
I like it sometimes when the electricity suddenly shut off and everything is dark and scary because it is the the time when each member of my family will call to each other for light and guidance in the dark pathways. I like it when we come together in the living room with just a lighted candle and just simply talk about the days of our lives.
So, I thank my family for the gift of unconditional love. It was through good and bad times that I finally learn to live. The scope of my vision broadened beyond loving a person. I began to see myself as more than that. :)
For this coming day of hearts and cupids alike, I dedicate all my love to my family who nourishes and cares without interfering, gives without demanding, loves and forgives without hesitating.
And of course to the man I decided to love forever some three years ago, I wish him and his new found love a happy hearts day. :)
Happy Hearts day!
Besos y abrazos everyone,
Ivy :)
