:)

Ok, so I am totally bored out of my wits. I also need to ditch this doom and gloom attitude and enjoy what life has to offer. Indeed it is true that happiness is not ready made so one must work for it to be able to achieve it. So I am trying to figure out how I can be happy with my life right now. There are just moments and instances that I feel so down and all; some hidden and mixed emotions that cannot be explained and some ideas that are being put off because of low self-esteem and self confidence.

Maybe I should learn to appreciate what I have right now --- Appreciation is the key word! I need to appreciate tiny, small packages of blessings that are freely given to me right now.

The life and beauty of nature at its best-- I am blessed to be living in Bukidnon. I love the mountains and the green grasses of home. When I walk barefooted, I love the feel of green grasses growing under my feet and love the smell of grasses that are freshly trim or cut. When I need to relax, I just prop up my pillows, grab a good book, quench my thirst by drinking pineapple juice, stretch out in the patio and look up on the clear blue skies. And I also love it when it rains; it reminds me so much of grade school/high school and the simple pleasure of living in a place far away from the hustle and bustle of city life. When happiness means eating banana q with friends, sitting on the plaza, piano lesson with my best friend at Tita Merlyn’s house, chit chatting about the days of our lives over my friend’s place, walking home in the rain with friends, giggling over high school crushes and friends’ sleeping over at my place during final examm. Oh memories… beautifully folded and pressed between the pages and corners of my mind.

All great things come from small beginnings— so do small ideas that will come out big later on. I have some ideas that would glow like neon traffic light but sometimes I tend to throw it on the back burner and simply forget about it. So now is the time to entertain small ideas that will turn out big later on in my life.

De-clutter things in life- Sometimes schedules turn way too hectic that it is nearly impossible to de-clutter things in life that are no longer needed. So, I guess it is high time to leave old ugly memories behind and have a brand new start. It also goes with some stuff in the room or in the drawers that are just accumulating dust; time to make it spic and span, baby!

Simplify things— I don’t have to give myself a hard time in order to come with a right choice. I’ll do whatever makes me happy.

Friends that last forever! – boyfriends are not the be-all and end-all! They come and go but FRIENDS--> friends are there for life. I miss watching F-R-I-EN-D-S! I love that T.V sit com so much that I almost always died of laughing watching them goofing around and cracking up jokes to the maximum. And yeah, thanks to all my friends for the laughter, tears and snippets of this and that.

Home is where the hearth is! Oh, the comfort of home. Nothing truly beats off the comfort that a home can give. When I say home, I also mean my family. I know it is home when it is equated with the word family. Yesterday, Pa and Ma watched classic cartoons together and it made me smile knowing that they still enjoy each other’s company. Alright, they also have their share of marital differences but never did I see my father lift a finger to Ma. I believe that the greatest gift a father could offer to his children is to love his wife.

A faith that is deep and true—Authentic faith to one God. And knowing that everything happens because of HIM alone.

Have a blessed Sunday, everyone!

Besos,

ivy

Be a lotus....

Be a lotus...which means, no matter how ugly, how evil and how sinful everyone around you might become, do not allow yourself to be stained. A lotus remains beautiful even as it lingers in the filthy waters of the ponds. Don’t be contaminated, do not be influenced by worthless means. Remain radiant among the shadows of darkness. Be a LOTUS it has to start with one to fill the pond with more. -Confucius-

love you mucho,papa!

I am glad tomorrow is Wednesday already. Two more days then it’s going to be a long weekend for me. But I won’t be able to go home on friday night since Mara invited me to attend on her 25th birthday celeb at her place. I am thinking of finishing all the stuff I need to do on saturday morning so that I will be free as a bird on sunday and monday. Hahay! So many things to do yet so little time to do it. I can hardly wait for sem break. I know its still like 2 months away but I just want to skip the days and jump to the most awaited break. Two weeks of break is like heaven for me right now. I just miss the moments when I can just lounge around and let the days pass without worries. Oh dear, I miss those hakuna matata days!

Sometimes, I often wish that I can be my own boss. I just can’t handle the pressure and stress of being an employee. It is probably because I am not the pleaser type. I just don’t do things or maybe pretend to be like this and like that to please everyone around me. I am who I am—no sugar coating, no twisting and spinning of things. I just remembered that my father once told me that he can never see himself as an employee; he can never see himself fitting in a “culture” of an institution. He wants to be his own boss; boss of his time, boss of his plans and visions. So that is why my father is a businessman. Through the years I have seen him as someone with authority, someone with a voice that everyone seems to listen. I have seen him plan and solve many problems and I like it because he does all those things without consulting to someone with authority because he is his own boss.

Last Sunday afternoon, I had one of the most wonderful moments with my father. We were at the patio talking about the days of our lives. It felt good to be able to discuss with him some serious matters concerning my life right now. And I could really say that I am no longer the “baby” in the family. I’m already a 25-year-old grown up dealing with life’s ups and downs every single day. I have loads of problems and worries that I keep to myself. But last Sunday, I was able to express it to my father and he listened without interfering. I shared to him about my faith in God and told him that I want to see myself in the kind of faith that I can see myself growing. I briefly shared with him about a certain guy I like and he nodded with approval and he also shared something about marriage. He told me that it will just come when it is really meant for me, and if it’s not then maybe God has other plans for me. If a daughter is being good to her parents, then God will send someone who is also good, someone who is imbued with good values. Right now, I am quite living the “single” life and happy about it. I still have heaps of fun and exploration to do in this crazy world. Also, I shared to my father about work and how I have always wanted to be a businesswoman. I told him I cannot see myself forever teaching young kids and that I need to invest into something else. Well, he advised me to finish my masters degree first and just be open to new possibilities as it comes. I was quite relieved after our long talk and now I know that whenever I need some encouragement, I just go straight to my father who knows me best. I love you, papa! Thank you so much for everything.

me likey!

wedding!

Dok and Leizel's wedding :)

sunshine after the rain....

It is now past 11 pm and I just woke up from my sleep. I was so tired and exhausted when I arrived home from work that I crashed to bed right after I freshened up. There’s a kid who celebrated his birthday in the classroom this afternoon so I was free for dinner since they handed out crispy fried chicken, burger and apple pie from Mcdo. So stuffed! And the name of the celebrant is the same as of my ex. Hmm… I haven’t really thought of him that much anymore. I guess time really heals all wounded hearts. After debating to myself if I still love him, I can absolutely conclude right now that I am way past over him. The feelings I had for him simply vanished like thin air, like the last flame of fire being extinguished, like a glowing ember gradually losing its light—a dying fire, a dying love. Sad to know but hey, it’s a great relief at the same time. a sunshine after the rain... :)



Anyhoo, my friend Bas is getting married this Saturday and of course I am invited. But the thing is that there’s an important activity in school this Saturday. I desperately want to attend her wedding and now I am kind of torn between attending a wedding or attending a V.I. activity in school. I am just so happy and excited for my dear friend Bas. She deserves a wonderful man like Dok. :) Another sunshiny day for Bas. :)

Hmm… what else? Oh well, I am getting addicted in answering Know-It-All quizzes in f.b. Some of the categories are intellectually stimulating. I got high scores in Geography, World Capitals and on situational comedies (Sit.com category) like FRIENDS, etc.

I guess this is all for now. I will sleep again. Haha… ZzzzzzzzzzzzZZzZZzzzzz!

Sun-day special!

It’s Sunday! I wasn’t able to touch base in my beloved Bukidnon because I have tons of things to do here. I woke up pretty late today then I did my laundry and then headed off to church with my cousin. For lunch, we had crispy fried chicken, then double dutch icecream, and nacho chips to boot.

I was struck at what the priest shared to us during the homily. Lately, I have been whining and complaining about everything. Every day I question myself why things didn’t turn out the way I want things to be. The last couple of weeks were filled with utter sadness and emptiness from my end. Probably because I am still at the process of adjusting to my new job and the people around me or that one of my closest friends is leaving me behind. I could pretty much describe myself right now as an “empty lonely gray cloud drifting far apart...” But it is through these sudden pangs of emptiness and loneliness that I can absolutely say that to be vulnerable is to be human. My point is, there are moments in life when we have to be defenseless, and we have to be susceptible to risks and all so that we will know how to deal with life’s complexities and trickiness.

Anyway, the priest also shared something about being contended with what we have. He underscored that as God’s children we have to be receptive to His empowerment. We have to count our blessings instead of whining and complaining all the time.
So right now, I want to list all the things that I am truly thankful of.

:)For the gift of friends.. oh, I really miss my superfriends! I considered them as my life lines.
:) My family! I don’t know how to define my life without them. I so so so love my family and I thank them for keeping all of us in a tighter nucleus. We may not have everything in life but we have each other for comfort and care, attention and affection..etc. hugsss…
:) For my job.
:) For my piece of sanity in this crazy lonely world. * wishing the universe to conspire and make all my dreams and aspirations in life to come in full fruition.
:) For our pet dogs. They are one of my top ten lists of de-stressors! Misty, Shadow, Dobie, Sugar, Hanna, Hanni, Hippo,Pumpkin and Yum yum. And also to Tara who died last week. :( and of course how will I ever forget our tricky monkey! Thanks muy! And also our cats… hehehe
:) For the comfort I have in my life right now.
:) And for everything!!!!

Have a blessed Sunday everyone!

to all my superfriends! :)

I feel awfully lonely these past few days. There are some things I couldn’t quite put my finger on. I miss my superfriends! :( Last week, I had a teary-eyed moment when my friend dropped by to my workplace to say goodbye. It was the same feeling when Hope and I had our last dinner before she left for U.S. :( I feel like I’m super alone. It’s just that I don’t have any close friends at my workplace. Almost all of my co-teachers in the pre-school department are married and their priorities are way different than mine. There are some thoughts that I would rather share to single friends and there are things that married people don’t understand and vice versa. But I am so thankful and blessed to have a partner like Teacher Ai. She’s someone I can easily relate with even though she’s married and has two kids on her own, (another bundle of joy will be coming soon) so that will make three. :)

Today, I just miss my happy, bubbly and uber fantabulous super friends! I can’t really explain what I am feeling right now. I just miss their company that much. So I dedicate the Beatles’ “In My Life” to my dear friends but most especially to the one who is leaving so soon. I luv yah all!




There are places i'll remember
All my life though some have changed
Some forever not for better
Some have gone and some remain
All these places have their moments
With lovers and friends i still can recall
Some are dead and some are living
In my life i've loved them all

But of all these friends and lovers
There is no one compares with you
And these memories lose their meaning
When i think of love as something new
Though i know i'll never lose affection
For people and things that went before
I know i'll often stop and think about them
In my life i love you more

Though i know i'll never lose affection
For people and things that went before
I know i'll often stop and think about them
In my life i love you more (change to ALL :))
In my life i love you ALL


"We cannot tell the precise moment when friendship is formed. As in filling a vessel drop by drop there is at last a drop which makes it run over, so in a series of kindness there is at last one which makes the heart run over." :)

besos y abrazos to all my super friends,
ivy

:)

I am back again! Weee! I’ve been super tired for the past few weeks. It was “toxic”. Haha! Adjusting to the youngest batch of kids in the pre-school department kind of zapped my energy away and I usually got home tired and sleepy. I hope they will all be settled weeks from now. I DESPERATELY WANT THEM TO BE SETTLED! I am thinking of ways and strategies to make them calm and responsive to the activities we have in class.

Right now, I am feeling inadequate. I know how to tame kids before and I know how to pacify their temper tantrums but now I feel like I am losing it. I feel so helpless infront of the nursery super active class. Hahay! But I just have to be patient with them.

Anyhoo, my sister celebrated her 27th birthday last June 25. I can’t believe that she has come to that age already. I’ve always thought that she’s only 24 or 25. Oh well, that’s my age already. Hahaha! Am I having quarter life crises? Not really. In fact I feel so good about my life right now. Although there are times that I feel so empty and alone but I always try to negate that “vast- of- swirling- emptiness” kind of feeling and I always want to look forward for another day. I believe that it is my strong and firm belief in God that keeps me going. Whenever I feel like giving it all up, I always bow my head down and ask HIM for guidance and inspiration. :)

Have a good weekend everyone!