barbie-yo!

Yesterday afternoon, Papa and I watched “Barbie & The Diamond Castle” together. I thought he will not linger and finish the whole story but he did. We actually loved it. It’s a story about the power of friendship. go, go watch it!

gud morgan, sunshine!

It takes someone very special to help you forget someone very special.

.. goes one of the lines in Oliver’s story. You see, I’m supposed to be reviewing for midterms but I always end up flipping the pages of a pocketbook.

Last night, I was up and about studying some major philosophies in education and found myself reading 2-3 chapters of a pocketbook before proceeding to my hand-outs. And then another chapter before another hand-outs. Haha! So funny.. but that’s just me. That’s how I flush out sheer boredom! I slept at 2: 30 aiyem and woke up around 8:30 this morning. Arghh!!
I need to change my sleeping pattern; it’s really driving me crazy. I can’t even perform my modified Pilates exercise in the morning because I wake up real late. For the record, the modifier of the Pilates exercise is just me, so nothing really serious and rigid about it. It’s just a combination of tis and tat. I am pretty serious though with my hula-hoop exercise because I’ve been doing it for years now.

Back to my sleeping pattern, oh yes, I really want to sleep around 10 pm so that I can be up early in the morning but you see I’m this crazy nocturnal being. My energy level is at its peak during evenings and yeah, during rainy days too. Just the drizzle and not the downpour because I get real scared if it’s a heavy downpour but the drizzling rain is really soothing to my nerves. To rain gently, in a mist like drop is my sweet escape from the stress and pressure I face every day. (as if I’m pressured right now effect, hahaha!)

But I know when I will work again next school year; I’ll crash to bed as soon as I get home. I’ve been thinking lately to work here and not in the city. I just don’t like the cluttered, busy, city life. I abhor fumes, black smoke, fast-food, traffic, dust and crazy snatchers. (for gun’s sake!!!) Besides, all I’m needing now is a great deal of teaching experience to get me somewhere else ALTHOUGH I’ve been thinking out loud to my parents that I just want to be with them till they grow old. Oh well, I’m even lazy to process those goddamn papers. I’ve been contemplating lately about how short life is and I want to spend every single moment of it with my parents who are not getting any younger. Going abroad may make me have impressive bank accounts, may give me the latest gadgets and all that BUT…. at the end of the day….(that’s a million dollar phrase that I have to finish by then) For now, I’m happy and nothing beats the happiness and contentment I have in life. I may whine and complain sometimes but that’s the part of the whole package of deciding to stay put!!! Hahaha..

Anyhoo, some blah blah about the books I read and movies I love..

Playing for Pizza by John Grisham is not so “Grishamy” type of novel at all. But at least it’s a break from his usual -law and crime- novels. I was actually transported to the nice, grandeur place that was Italy. (land of fine wines, opera, different kinds of cheese & pizza (yum yum yum), extremely small cars and romanza, baby!) And yeah, I think I like Football Americano now. Hut-hut!!

A must-read book is Puerto Vallarta Squeeze by Robert James Waller, also the author of The Bridges of Madison County. If you love The bridges then I guarantee you will also love Puerto Vallarta. This time the setting is in the exotic land of Mexico. Lotsa pretty hot exotic, Mexicana!!

Bride and Prejudice-- its a nice love story, a touch of Indian culture, on-line dating services, beautiful Indian girls and yeah my crushie, WILL DARCY. (Martin Henderson) and i love to dance the Indian Garba dance.

Oh noes, I really want to write more but I really have to go and do some other things. I’m actually re-reading Oliver’s story, the sequel of the book Love Story by Erich Segal. Last weekend, I watched Sassy Girl (English version) with my sister for the nth time. I so so love that movie. Yeah right, destiny is the bridge you make to the one you love.

n.b. my father just arrived and bought me some dvds from his suki. I’ve been asking him to buy me One Tree Hill series, Friends, Disney cartoons and any love stories but he always ended up buying the wrong ones. Today, he bought Barbie (The Diamond Castle), Bryan Adams Unplugged, Metallica videos, Naruto Shippuden (for gun’s sake!) and Strawberry shortcake cartoons. Hahay! Hrrmm… yeah, it’s silly but… sweet! hehehe

spa and the blah!

Last Friday night was rather a sad moment for us. Can’t help but miss our brother. Kuya and the girlfriend went to the rescue since everybody seemed to be down and low in spirits. So, off we went to Body and Sole for a full body massage but we were not accommodated because it was full. We then transferred to Touch and Heal and to some spa parlor near Pearlmont but it was also full. But of course we did not easily give up so we went to some streets in Divisoria or wherever in green earth it was located and found ourselves in a Thai massage parlor. Since we were already tired and all, we settled for it and got ourselves a full body massage which I really don’t like at all. Kuya and the girlfriend went blocks away to find another one since only three persons were accommodated in the TMP and eventually they ended up in a Blind Massage parlor.

I really don’t like the ambience in that Thai massage parlor. It was not what I expected it to be. Even my masseuse was not that good, she was kneading my full back like a hard rock object or a hardened dough and she kept on talking with the other masseuse about her full day’s work and salary without even asking me if the pressure is bearable or what. . Arggh!! Puhleaasee I need some relaxation here!

I mean I know traditional Thai massage is really that painful, there’s a lot of stretching and spine cracking(hehehe) but I reckon what they did in that parlor was not the proper way. Or perhaps they had it modified?!? I really don’t know. And for the love of ghost, they’re very noisy!

What I know is that traditional Thai massage centers on the pressure points; there will be lot of stretching and yes it could be that painful but you’ll get used to it after awhile. If that masseuse was properly trained in a traditional Thai massage, she would have checked the pressure first in my femoral arteries both sides for roughly 20-30 seconds and if it’s done in a proper way, I should have felt my arteries pumping against the masseuse’s wrist. It should start from the legs, then the arms and the last and most pleasurable part of the massage will be on the back and neck.

I am not really sure. Maybe they had it modified. Whatever. But the massage on the arms and legs felt really good though.

Saturday class? Oh well, t’was good. I especially learned a lot from Rey’s report re: Transactional Analysis. And my classmate brought the Princess Dubai diet snacks and everyone tried it. Did I mention before about the Abu Dhabi diet recipe? Hrmmm…. Ma’am Darlene, my classmate and owner of Saint Paul’s learning center is inviting us to her place on Monday for the Self-Exploration Process(SEP) but I am not sure if I’ll attend the session.

And yeah, I wasn’t able to report. Too bad!  I just want it to be over and done with.

:(

I am too tired to post an entry today. Its not that I am busy, maybe I am just lethargic to do the things I wanted to do today. Tomorrow I will be reporting re: relationships in my Personal Mastery class and I haven’t reviewed my notes at all.

Maybe… I’m just missing my brother. :(

I wish him all the best in life.

no title

I was upset the past few days. Too upset to post something in this blog. But now, I’m a bit ok. Here I am trying to move on and heal my wounded heart and suddenly he suddenly pop out of nowhere. I mean, when they(my ex and his girl) invited me in Friendster before I accepted it with sincerity and with no ulterior motives and all because I reckon that being friends with them is one step in finding that kind of peace which I have been searching for the longest time.

I'm not some kind of machine people kid around. I'm not the person they can invite in Friendster when everything goes smoothly and deleted the moment they want to. The 3rd time they invited me I was so pissed off, knowing fully that the cycle of inviting and deleting will happen again.

But I did not blow my top; I still have that little piece of sanity inside me. Thanks to my grad class course “Personal Mastery & Human Inquiry”, I was able to compose myself well and I did not fly into rage. Oh my G, Little me has grown up already; stronger, braver and wiser than before. :) yey!!!

So, with my pride set aside, I sent them a note saying that I would highly appreciate it if there’s no connection at all and that I will be more willing to invite them when the time is right. I then wished them the best in life. (with sincerity, of course)

The girl replied. She said she was sorry and all and that she’s just curious and afraid. Afraid of going through what I’ve gone through and that when she knew the guy and I dated before she has this feeling that he belongs to me and not to her.

I felt sorry for her. I wish I could assure her that I’m not that angry gray cloud in their lives and I am not the type who would go halfway round the world to destroy what they have. In fact, I just keep my silence. I packed my shattered heart and life into boxes and went to Bangkok to heal my heart.

She has the best of the worlds, she has the man I love the most. What more could she ask for?


All I ever have is a wounded crippled heart, yet I am helping myself to be happy. I smile though my heart is breaking, I face the day full of promises because I know God is not finished with me yet.

I am happy.. because I choose to be! :) happeeee Ivy!

“Love in action always has a certain extravagance in it. It does not calculate the less or more. It doesn’t say, “I’ve already done that to you; it’s too much if I do it again.” True Love doesn’t keep accounts. It gives all, but that all doesn’t seem enough.”

bee happee :)

The post below is actually the result of listening to a mushy love song. Death to all the love songs in the world!!! Oh well, just one of the many dramas in life. Good thing though is I acknowledged the feeling of sadness and right now I’m finding ways to be happy again. I choose to be the happy Ivy.

So, bee hapeee!!!

Actually, I have a class tomorrow but here I am wide awake. Oh sleepy sleepy doo, where art thou?!? Saucer-like eyes, close it now. gudnyt! :)

xoxo
happy ivy

yayay pa rin my heart :(

One Saturday evening, I was at my parent’s room to talk for them for awhile before I sleep and to kiss them goodnight as well. Mama was folding the linens while I hopped myself on their bed. Papa was beside me and he looked at the charcoaled painting of my portrait at the wall. That painting was given to me by someone I used to love three Christmases ago and Mama hang it up on their bedroom wall when I left the pieces of my heart and life here and started a brand-new life somewhere else.

Anyhoo, Papa and I looked at the painting since it’s been sitting on the wall across their bed and Papa looked at me and said, “You know, whenever I see that painting there are two people I remember. You and ____. Tell me, what really happened?”

I just smiled at my father who once saw my heart shard into a billion pieces, crushed and left unaided.

I wish I knew why and I wish I know how to answer my father but for now, a smile would just be enough to answer the many why’s that I’ve been asking myself ever since he went out of my life.

But maybe... maybe… its hard for me…because

Three years ago, I decided to love him FOREVER! :(


Damn it, Ivy.. its been three years already!

Coo...

I am infuriated. :(

My report should have been finished by now if my computer is working. I could have been doing some other things by now had I not stuck in this crazy printing dilemma. I know how to fix it before but now I am just totally lost. Coco or Deedee did not cooperate with me this time. I remember giving my computer a name before and now I cannot even remember it. Is it Coco or deedee? But I think its Coco. Dee Dee is my antique celphone.

Anyhoo, I used to talk to Coco (my computer) before when he throws tantrums, when he would suddenly shut down, when he would not print, when he would not do what I want him to do. But after I left Coco for a year and a half we barely know each other and now I am so mad that he did not cooperate with me. I hate it that I almost bang my fist on him. I hate that I cursed him. I actually told him that he’s no good for a computer.

I’m sorry Coo. I’m just so so so mad today. I’ll fix you tomorrow ok? Hope you will cooperate with me ‘morrow. Am gonna find that software that you’ll need Coo and I’ll fix your printer system, ok? Love you Coco. Soweeeee…


*** I should have been posting something about my trip at Ozamis but I am not really in the mood tonight. We arrived yesterday at my Lola’s place and came back this morning. It was a brief visit but I did enjoy feasting on crabs and shrimps. :)****

n.b. Coo and I became fiends six years ago. Papa bought him for me during my 18th birthday. So he is my Coo Coo dearest.

early mawnin' ramblings

I had a good time yesterday in my grad class. Ms. Jessica, my classmate in grad school and a P.E./ Karate teacher in Xavier as well had her demo in our Personal Mastery class. After tackling self-process exploration, self-esteem we moved on to the physical aspect. Ms. Jessica briefly explained her report and off we started our warm-up exercises and then she demonstrated to us the basics of aerobics, taebo and the modified pilates. Among the three, I like the modified pilates and I am now seriously contemplating in joining her class. I think her gym/studio is somewhere near my school so I will drop by sometime soon and check the place myself. Me likey pilates! So very Carrie Bradshaw expression, huh?

Anyhoo, she also shared her Abu Dhabi diet recipe or was it Dubai diet recipe and I laughed to myself when I heard it. Was it a joke or for real? Hahaha… so here goes the recipe; apple, cucumber, carrots, violet onion, lettuce, iodize salt. All I have to do is mix it all and chill in the fridge and whenever I’ll get hungry at night while watching TV I can just have it. For the dressing, honey or lemon will do.

I really have to lose weight. Papa’s been teasing me that I’m fast becoming a piggy and I get annoyed every time he says it. And my sister’s been warning me to slow down on carbs since my metabolism is slow. Papa said I have to go back to my high school figure which I think is nearly impossible. I was paper-thin those years and I don’t think I can go back to that figure anymore. I was like 80-85 pounds those years and now oh my G, I’m already 105 pounds now (40 something kilos) His point is that I will look funny if I gain weight because of my height. I computed my Body Mass Index last Saturday and its actually normal so I am quite confuse whether I should trim down or stay the way I am today.

Papa also likes my hair to be long since cutting it short would make me look fat and he would laugh at that. Last week though he trimmed my hair and my sister’s too. Now, its … still long. Hahaha!!!

Okay, after my class last Saturday my brother gave us all a treat at Yellowcab, a pizza joint somewhere near the mall. Since I was really hungry after the exercise I ate 2 slices of pizza and roughly ¼ share of the spag in the box, then 2 pieces of hopia I bought at the bakery. Hmmm….. somebody stopppppppp me!!!!

Tomorrow we will be going to one of the barrios in Ozamis. My mama’s nanay lives there and we will visit her before my brother will leave out of the country. I haven’t been there for a long time already and tomorrow I ‘l be seeing green paddy rice-field again, the smell of dried coconuts, that water-pump thingie (I like to play with it) and all those other thingies I kept and pressed in my childhood memories.

I am really scared of ferryboats/barge. But there’s no other way to get there but to cross the sea. I hope there’s a bridge that would connect Iligan to Ozamis. Hahay!

Its past midnight already and I need to get some sleep for tomorrow’s long journey. Goodnight!!!

XOXO,
IRA